My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
She announced her abortion via fbk
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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