Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Terrible idea I love it
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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