just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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