You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
