that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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