If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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