hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize