winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
