I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
