the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
