Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
