I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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