I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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