Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
My nipple is on Facebook.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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