My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
no, he came in my armpit
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
