i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
