so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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