We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
