nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
