this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
