Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
why do cheetos always look like penises
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
