i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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