Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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