hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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