so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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