You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
