Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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