You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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