She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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