FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize