Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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