just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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