my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
