He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
