so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
try to milk me bitch
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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