Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
