just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
false alarm. still invincible.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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