Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
