using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
