He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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