felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
