Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
