You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
