hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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