so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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