Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
