you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
