Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
