Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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