whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
