you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
