cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
