Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
