I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
