Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
