well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
