i don't like sucking hair
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
