let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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