Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Do vagina's smell?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He did a backflip because drugs
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
