Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
