that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
i think im in europe. pls send help
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
