you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
