just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
