He is an equal opportunity slut.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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