great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
