she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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