I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize